3. Contrasts and the paper chase

Joined the Kuwait BMW Motorcycle Club ride to Abdali in northern Kuwait last Friday, Feb 12, for the 4^th Abdali Festival (hence some of the pics in the side bar slide show).  The venue was a farm owned by one of the club members in Abdali, which is a (relatively) more fertile area located in the north of Kuwait some 125 km from Kuwait City and near the border with Iraq. 
There must have been 30-40 bikes, mostly Beamers plus a sizeable showing from the Kuwait Ducati Club, some noisy open pipe HDs, a mean looking V Max and a 'busa or two.  Plus a few cars full of families and kids - it was that kind of outing.  And of course the Tristar team led by owner Mr Jafar and his manager, the ever-smiling Salem. 
There was a barbeque, games for the kids, shisha pipes to enjoy and a chance to relax in the warm sun and blether to other bikers about… bikes and stuff and the weather and bikes, making it a thoroughly pleasant day out.  But the lasting memories are of the greenery, birds twittering in the trees, calmness and tranquillity.   All a very welcome contrast to the hustle and bustle of Kuwait City with its incessant background soundtrack of traffic noise – well, till the Harleys fired up again anyway. 
Back to what passes for normality, I belatedly discover I no longer have enough pages in my passport to take all the visas and entry/exit stamps I'm likely to collect en route - oops.  A quick chat with the friendly folk in the consular section at the Brit Embassy assures me the turn-around will be 10 working days – provided the paperwork is in order. 
I duly download and complete the form, get it and photos I already have endorsed by a suitably qualified Kuwaiti colleague and submit my application with the requisite fee.  That done, I wait for the call to collect.  But the call, when it comes, is to say that the Vice-Consul has rejected my application because the photos I submitted were too similar to the one in my old passport.  As I then discover in the application guidance notes, they should have been '…taken within the last month.'   This is all my fault.  I had the pics, didn't think I'd changed that much and, in the interests of speed(!) thought I could avoid the hassle of getting new ones done. 
This call came just before the weekend late on a Thursday afternoon (impressive in itself as the Embassy hours are 08:00-13:00) and the sympathetic and helpful lady on the line then explained the consular section would be closed the following Sunday for team training so I should hand in the new photos on the Monday. 
Recalling the '10 working days' caveat, I began to panic as I was due to fly out of Kuwait just over a week later and I still had to get my residence visa transferred to the new passport.  She assured me it should be possible, so I got the new pics done over the weekend, re-certified by my colleague at work and handed them in on the Monday.  The Embassy then called the next day to say my passport was ready – how's that for service?  But this is what we're used to.  Provided you follow instructions (unlike me), you hand over the necessary documents, pay your fee and all the paper shuffling is done out of sight before you're told to come collect the finished product.   Dealing with Kuwaiti officialdom is somewhat different…

2. It IS about the bike…

So what am I riding on this jaunt home from Kuwait?

Last year I picked up a second hand (2006) BMW R1200GS Adventure (shown right) – not every biker's first choice I know, but if it was good enough for Obi Wan Kanobi's latest incarnation and his mate on their north-south 'Long Way' trek from John O'Groats to Cape Town, it'll do for me.  Not that I intend tackling much in the way of off-roading when I'm on my journey home.  In fact, loaded up as I will be, I'm rather hoping that the odd stretch of roadworks or graded surfaces in some of the more remote areas will be the nearest I get to testing the bike's Gelände capabilities over its Straße ones.
But I love this bike. It's my first Beamer – apart from a few rides on  a 1970-something R100RS my old man took in a trade-in against some construction plant he sold to a building contractor in Shetland many moons ago.  I first rode that 1000cc bike the same day I passed my bike test (on a 50cc Suzuki!) and scared the stuff out of myself when a bend suddenly arrived quicker than I expected - but that's another story.
The GSA is a big bike, especially for a 5' 8" (173cm) short-arse like me, which is why I've fitted slightly (30 mm) lower Hyperpro springs on front and rear shocks.  These, together with a lower seat from a 1200GS (note: not the 'low' GSA seat which leaves the rider with practically no padding – not a good idea on a long run) mean that with my little legs, I can just about get my feet flat on the ground… almost.  Enough anyway to feel reasonably confident about not dropping the damn thing at traffic light stops.
I call her Giselle.  She's no ballerina but she is German, of course, and has a G and an S and… oh never mind.  But she is a big girl, weighing in at around 265 kg (584 lbs) fuelled up and ready to roll but minus all the truck I'll need to carry when I set off. In spite of all this beef, it's a surprisingly nimble bike on the road.  And I don't mean fast.  I'm getting too long in the tooth to be a speed merchant, much preferring comfort and the GSA's upright riding position over eye-watering thrust and bum-in-the-air posture of other models and marques.  But the 1200cc Boxer twin is fast enough and provides the bike with enough power and dexterity to keep me out of trouble in traffic - particularly important given the parlous state of driving on Kuwait's roads.
The bike was acquired, after much traditional Middle East haggling, from those nice people at TriStar Motorcycles, Kuwait's BMW Motorrad (and Ducati) dealers.  It had around 20000 km on the clock and more Touratech and other aftermarket goodies and bling than you would think possible – quite a bit of which I've since removed.  I say 'haggling', but jeez, these guys know how to drive a hard bargain.  I traded my '05 KTM 640 Adventure, bought new in Dubai, and still seemed to pay an arm and a leg. They blame their small market.  And truly, in spite (or maybe because) of its alleged tax-free status, Kuwait is an expensive place.  No, I'm not going to reveal what I paid.  Just suffice to say I looked at it like buying a Persian carpet – if you really like it, go through the bargaining process and you're reasonably happy with what you've forked out, then it's worth it.
And yes, I did consider making this trip on the 640Adv.  It was originally bought with a view to tackling a planned, but ultimately aborted, ride down the east coast of Africa from Mozambique to Johannesburg with Mark, a South African mate (XR650) while living in Dubai – and that's yet another story.  But after much research and chatting with more experienced long tour riders, the thought of tackling this homeward bound trip on the 640's thumping single pot with its well known resultant vibration, convinced me to go for the bigger, heavier but smoother Beamer.  Did I make the right choice?   Only time and miles travelled will tell.

1. It’s all in the preparation…

So here's the plan. 
After three years living and working in Kuwait (with the previous five years similarly spent in Dubai) the contract is up, continuing job prospects in the region are bleak and it looks like our little Middle East adventure is over.   It's time to head back to UK.  Sometime after the end of March, 2010.  But, while my lovely wife Sharon will hop on the BA 157 out of Kuwait International for the five and a half hour flight back to Blighty, and our furniture will take the long container ship route via Suez (Somali pirates allowing), I plan to go overland, on my motorbike.
As long as my employers play ball, I aim to take about a month to ride from Kuwait City to Aberdeen in Scotland - which is where I hail from though home is now in London.  So, 20 countries and something in the region of 11000 kms / 6800 miles.  This will take me from Kuwait through Saudi, Jordan and Syria, a possible side step into Lebanon then back into Syria and on to Turkey.  Bulgaria and Greece follow, then up through the Balkans from Albania to Macedonia, Kosovo, a little bit of Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, and Slovenia then across northern Italy to France and into UK.
The outline route can be seen in full at the Google maps link here if anyone's that interested, but the emphasis here is on the word 'outline' as I have no intention of being tied to a particular track and timetable.   This notional routing was plotted more to provide some idea of the overall mileage to be covered across the countries I wanted to include, and to get a grasp of the time that might be required for the trip.   I've already altered it to include the likes of Dubrovnik and Mostar while plotting a course through the Balkans, and still regret not taking in Sarajevo, but I have to stop adding places or I'll never get home.
But I reckon a month, 30 days give or take, should be enough.  I know a couple of Kuwaiti bikers who've done Scotland to Kuwait in 12 days, but they had a deadline to meet.  I don't want to be slave to clock or even calendar.  I want to be able to take in the sights, sounds and smells of the places I pass through and if something really interesting turns up, I'd like to be able to give it time.  We've also spoken about Sharon joining me for a spell if I pitch up somewhere particularly attractive that she hasn't seen before (so that'll be in the Balkans then, since she's been everywhere else on the route already - apart from Saudi, obviously).  Perhaps I should explain that Sharon gracefully indulges, but unfortunately does not share, my passion for bikes and is treating the whole notion of this road trip in the same way, bless her.  Similarly, my three daughters, all sensible girls, look rather askance at their crazy Dad, but understand (I think) why I'm doing it.
And then there's the unforeseen.  Those unplanned interruptions that are inevitable on a trip of this nature.  But, as Ted Simon famously noted in 'Jupiter's Travels', the book of his epic round the world trip in the 70s: "The interruptions ARE the journey".
Of course riding across 20 countries also means negotiating 19 borders, most of which, particularly in the early stages, mean shed-loads of bureaucracy and endless forms, stamping and signatures.  I've read enough online bike forum ride reports and watched and read the 'Long Way Round / Long Way Down / Up / Over and Out' sagas enough times to know borders need lots of two things – patience and paperwork.  Patience I think I have and it's the paperwork – visas, carnet and insurances – that I'm concentrating on now.  The end of March approaches…